Why We Get Jealous on Social Media: Understanding Our Feelings

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When you open your social media feed, it’s hard to escape the perfectly curated lives of others. Your friend posts about their dream vacation, another about their new promotion, and someone else shares their picture-perfect relationship.

Suddenly, you’re left feeling a twinge of envy, wondering why your life doesn’t measure up. This common emotion we experience on social media is called jealousy.

Jealousy is a natural feeling that arises when we perceive a threat to a relationship or a loss of something we value. On social media, this feeling can be heightened as we compare ourselves to others’ highlight reels.

As psychologist Melanie Greenberg says, “People tend to cherry-pick what they share online, often presenting an idealized version of their lives.”

One reason we get jealous on social media is the fear of missing out, or FOMO. Seeing your friends having fun without you or achieving milestones can trigger feelings of inadequacy. It’s like watching a party through a window while being left out.

Psychologically, this relates to the social comparison theory, where we evaluate ourselves based on others. As social media showcases people’s best moments, we often feel like we fall short in comparison.

But remember, what you see online is only a glimpse of reality. Many people only share their achievements and not their struggles.

As my realtor Sarah once said:

“People post their highs, but they don’t share their lows. It’s a highlight reel, not the whole movie.”

It’s essential to recognise that everyone faces challenges behind the scenes.

A study conducted by psychologist Dacher Keltner found that envy can lead to feelings of powerlessness and can damage relationships.

When you feel jealous of someone on social media, it’s essential to reflect on why you feel that way. Are you lacking something in your life, or are you simply comparing yourself unfairly?

Taking a step back and focusing on your own journey can help combat these negative emotions.

Moreover, jealousy is often rooted in our own insecurities. Seeing others succeed can trigger feelings of self-doubt and low self-esteem. Remember, your worth is not defined by your social media presence.

Abraham Maslow, psychologist, explains how “We are not in a position in which we have nothing to work with. We already have capacities, talents, direction, missions.”

To combat jealousy on social media, it’s crucial to cultivate gratitude. Instead of focusing on what you lack, appreciate what you have. Take a digital detox if social media triggers negative emotions, and spend time engaging in activities that bring you joy.

Share your own authentic moments and vulnerabilities; you may inspire others to do the same.

Lastly, remember that comparison is the thief of joy.
Psychologist Sonja Lyubomirsky suggests focusing on your own progress and accomplishments rather than comparing yourself to others constantly.

“Comparison is the death of joy.” — Mark Twain

In conclusion, understanding our feelings of jealousy on social media is vital for our mental well-being.

In recognising that social media only displays a filtered version of reality and addressing our own insecurities, we can navigate these emotions more effectively.

As you scroll through your feed, remember that everyone’s journey is unique, and it’s okay to be on your path at your pace.

Thanks for reading