Why it’s Good to Fail Your New Year’s Resolutions
Discover the benefits in failing and why you’re not alone
You’ll know by now if you’re going to succeed or fail in your New Year’s Resolutions. But don’t be disappointed as this is exactly what you need to make progress! Sounds backwards right?
Firstly you’re not alone, far from it!
According to a University of Scranton study, New Year’s Resolutions are met with a 92% failure rate
In a ComRes poll these are the most popular New Year Resolutions:
Another study by Richard Wiseman of the University of Bristol showed that 88% of those who set New Year resolutions fail, even though 52% of the study’s participants were confident of success at the beginning.
So why do we fail to keep our New Year’s Resolutions?
And why is failing a good thing?
Why We Fail
There are good reasons to explain why we fail. Much of it comes down to the effort we put into:
- Understanding Ourselves
- Knowing our Limits
- Being Honest
Even so why wouldn’t a simple resolution succeed? Spending more time with family or exercising doesn’t get much simpler than that right?
- Lack of Specificity: Resolutions are often vague and lack clear, measurable goals. According to a study published in the Journal of Clinical Psychology, setting specific goals increases the likelihood of achieving them.
- Unrealistic Expectations: Many resolutions involve ambitious lifestyle changes that may be difficult to sustain. According to a U.S. News & World Report, about 80% of resolutions fail by the second week of February, often due to unrealistic expectations.
- Failure to Plan: Without a well-thought-out plan, resolutions may remain as wishful thinking. The American Psychological Association suggests that effective goal-setting includes planning and breaking down larger goals into smaller, manageable steps.
- Lack of Accountability: Failing to share resolutions or having a support system can contribute to a lack of accountability. According to the Dominican University of California, people who shared their goals and sent progress updates to a friend were more likely to achieve them.
- Poor Time Management: Balancing new habits with existing responsibilities can be challenging. The Bureau of Labor Statistics reports that the average American spends over 3 hours per day on leisure and sports activities, making time management crucial for successful resolution adherence.
- Overcoming Habits Takes Time: Habits, both good and bad, are deeply ingrained. According to a study published in the European Journal of Social Psychology, it takes an average of 66 days for a new behaviour to become automatic, emphasising the importance of patience and persistence.
- External Stressors: Unforeseen life events and external stressors can derail resolution progress. The American Psychological Association’s Stress in America survey consistently identifies financial concerns, work, and family responsibilities as significant stressors for many individuals.
- Lack of Intrinsic Motivation: Resolutions often fail when individuals lack motivation. A study in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that intrinsic motivation (doing something because it’s personally rewarding) is more effective than extrinsic motivation (external rewards or punishments).
- All-or-Nothing Mentality: Perfectionism and an all-or-nothing mentality can hinder progress. Research published in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin suggests that self-compassion and accepting occasional setbacks increase the likelihood of achieving long-term goals.
- Inadequate Support Systems: Without a supportive environment, individuals may struggle to maintain their resolutions. Social influences, as highlighted in research published in the New England Journal of Medicine, play a significant role in behaviour change.
Let’s face it…
“Our New Year’s Resolutions are last minute thoughts”
The amount of effort you put into deciding your resolutions typically matches that which you put into achieving them.
Why is failing a good thing?
Did you know that the most successful people in the World had some of the biggest failings?
- Walt Disney faced bankruptcy several times before succeeding in the Disney company.
- Henry Ford’s first two automotive companies were failures.
- Oprah Winfrey was fired from her first anchor job yet now has her own successful media empire
- Elon Musk has had numerous setbacks and failures with SpaceX before successfully achieving launching and landings
The Point:
Failure is a necessary step in teaching how to succeed.
But! Like those above, you have to both recognise and accept your failure.
They all failed and progressed forward to success.
Hence the popularised term, “Failing Forward”.
How to Succeed
First Step: Recognise why you failed
You can’t fix a problem without know what it is, can you?
It’s easy to make excuses and blame other things or people for your failure.
When we do that it’s no wonder we are doomed to repeat this cycle and fail yet again!
Sometimes external factors are seen as a cause for failure. They’re not. They are simply an effective means of resistance to your success!
To put it another way, why were you not able to overcome these other factors of resistance?
Get to the root cause of why you failed takes more than excuses. You need to drill down and be honest with yourself. Maybe the solution is that you needed more help? And that’s ok! Just be sure you understand the root cause.
Second Step: Accept your failings.
Much of the time we don’t recognise why we failed because we refuse to bruise our own ego. Or we simply don’t want to admit we had any control over our own failure. It’s not easy being the person to blame.
“Once you accept your failings, only then can you progress to success”
Be realistic and honest with yourself. Don’t blame the exercise for your lack of weight loss. Did you know diet is more effective than exercise? Maybe the failure is in your learning the correct process?
Did you stick to the your plan? Maybe your failing is discipline. How can you better stick to your plan? Maybe it’s time to include your friend to keep you from straying.
Acceptance is a means to grow and mature.
Embracing the “Failing Forward” mentality.
In acceptance comes a learning that allows you to develop into a more successful person.
Third Step: The Plan for Success
Knowing the true cause of your failure means you can set out a plan for success. Research the right way to do it. Write down those goals. Get a friend to help keep you in line. Set out the dates and times to action your plan. And just go for it!!!
New Year’s Resolutions at Any Time
There’s no need to wait for January 1st either. Maybe the start of the year is the problem itself. Maybe your goals are better suited to mid-year? Take this into account. There’s no set law that states you must start 1st of Jan!
Be realistic and know your limits. Make your goals achievable and plan for ways to overcome those limits and restrictions. Your goals may be ambitious but with the right help you can accomplish anything!
You CAN Do It
It all sounds very Disney to say you can achieve your dreams.
I was always taught how there is more in you than you know yourself.
That much I’ve learned is very true and this is the most important lesson.
Don’t be the person who restricts you. Learn to get out of your own way. Stop debating in your head the reasons for failure. And stop letting yourself win by blaming someone else or other things! Don’t lose the debate with yourself! It only sets you up for more failures.
Debate is about finding truth. Debate your way to that truth
You do this with the three steps above. And you will.
There’s still plenty of time to restart those resolutions and even more time to plan for next year’s. So start now!
Turn your failures into a “failing forward” success story!
Wishing you all the very best for the year and in achieving all your resolutions, hopes and dreams.
