Member-only story
Being Offended: How You Only Hurt Yourself
Offence in a Subjective World
We take offence a lot more than we give it. When you talk to people, the milieus of others might offend you. You might choose to be offended by the words of politicians or common people: but offence is a choice. We can choose whether to take offence or not.
It’s all too easy to confuse being offended with actual abuse. Sometimes offending might be the best thing that ever happens to us as it forces us to reconsider our thoughts and feelings. It can in some cases actually make us a better person.
“In order to have a conversation, you risk being offended”
Ultimately, offence hurts only in so far as our own attention to it does damage. We are only hurt via the words of others if we allow ourselves to be hurt.
Realising that we are in fact in complete control of both our reactions and emotional processes means that we can prevent others from offending us to any great degree. We can determine how much value or weight we give to what is said to or about us, how strongly we react.
“Offence is not given. Offence is taken.”
Offence occurs within, once we construct it as psychologically harmful. Taking…